Have you ever seen red, and felt yourself become very anxious over what someone else is saying? Your heart rate might be racing, you might be short of breath and know that whatever comes out of your mouth can be damaging and dangerous. The worst thing you can do, is to react immediately. We would like to give you 5 ways to calm yourself down.
Here are some techniques from the world of NLP to get out of your reptilian brain into your rational brain.
1. Reframe your thoughts
- What are you feeling (anxious, overwhelmed, raging, mad)
- How would you rather want to feel?
- Can you write down that sentence, and say that to yourself, and put “NOT” in front of it.
- The unconscious mind can’t hear the word NOT, so if I’m saying to myself:
“I’m not feeling happy, I’m not feeling so calm, I’m not feeling so engaged right now”
immediately I have a different set of energy than if I’m saying:
” I’m angry, anxious, tired and overwhelmed.”
2. Break your state
- Can you do something physically so go for a run.
- Ask for a break, and have a glass of water.
- Can you listen to some inspirational or upbeat music.
- The moment you do something to “Break your state”, you can get out of your irrational brain.
3. Imagine your mentor was in the room.
- Imagine if someone that you highly respected was in the room with you. For instance Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, your mother or someone that you deeply respect.
- What would they say to you in the situation?
- What would their advice be?
4. See things from another perspective
- Ask yourself what is the other parties positive intention in behaving in a certain way.
- Focus on their end goal, what are they trying to achieve.
- See what you two have in common, and how you can support each other to reach both your goals.
- Speak towards the outcome.
5. Practice mindfulness
- Sit down in a quiet spot and just clear your mind.
- Watch your thoughts come and go and allow them to clear out.
- Focus on your breathing, notice the smells, sounds and tastes in your mouth.
- Focus on how your sitting, holding your body and your neck and just relax and you will find that you will overall be calmer in these situations.
Here is also another article as it appeared in Entrepreneur magazine, on
By Yoke van Dam
Yoke van Dam has been called the Kintsugi queen* because of her ability to join, repair and heal fractured teams and turn them into something quite wonderful.